Friday, August 4, 2017

clearing clutter

A few times each year DH and I get a bug to clear out unused stuff from the house. We got pretty agressive about it last year, clearing out a lot things like unneeded furniture (such as extra bedside tables taking up space in the spare room).

Throughout spring and summer of last year donation bags and consignment bags and trash bags and goodie bags for Freecyclers and Craigslisters streamed steadily out the door. By fall we had reached a stopping point, feeling pretty good about the amount of stuff in the house we'd managed to unload.

In my case I've found that it helps to take breaks from endeavors like this. Once you've cleared out stuff to a certain point, the risk of regret in going further it seems to rise.

While it's great to get a jump on a healthy activity like this when you're feeling motivated or especially ready to part with certain items in the house, sometimes it's also good to take a pause from it. This helps balance out some of the emotional stress that can come with aggressive clutter clearing. Most often the breather gives DH and I the time and space to realize that no, we won't feel much sting from the loss of many of the remaining things over which we were hesitating, and spurs us to clear out more. It sometimes also gives us time to rethink things, like when we decided the luxury lounge chair we had up on Craigslist for a few weeks could stay after all.

But, even when I feel like I've reached the point of taking a pause on clutter clearing, my mind is always alert to the question of "what am I ready to part with next?" and it typically doesn't take long for either DH or I to pick a few more things to let go of.

A few years ago it was easy to fill up several bags for donations pickups or the trash pile. It feels encouraging to have reached a point where the amount of clutter taking up space around the house has decreased so much that choosing more things has become more challenging. At the same time it's also become easier, as I've found that the act of clearing out things seems to free up more willpower to keep going on to part with even more things which I had been emotionally clinging to before.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

frugality from grandparents

My grandmother grew up in a poor, rural family in northern Philippines. Although she wound up marrying money (my grandfather was high society), the super frugal habits she was raised on persisted in her new life after moving here to America and allowed her to accomplish things people all over the world (including here in the US) can't even dare to imagine.

Once here she took up work as a secretary, a position she was quite content with and retained until her retirement around 40 years later. She started out here alone in a one bedroom apartment in Washington, D.C. Her adult children followed shortly after, and they all bunked up together in that tiny apartment for the first few years.

My grandmother always took the subway to work, and never went out 'for fun' to things like restaurants or movie theaters. She was a homebody and cooking was her idea of a good time. It was through her uber-frugal lifestyle that after just a few years she realized she had enough money for a downpayment on a house in the suburbs. She got one within walking distance of the subway and continued to use mass transit for commuting to work throughout her career.

She was so frugal that by late mid-life with a secretary's salary she was able to cover the downpayment on a second house where her son took up residence, loan my parents the money for the downpayment on their house, pay large chunks of the bills for four of her grandkids' college tuitions and vehicles.

My mother started out with admirably frugal habits early on in life, saving enough working in the Philippines to pay for six months of backpacking through Europe with a college buddy. However as she settled into the conventional 9-5 career with mortgage and two kids she slowly became entrenched in the mindless-shopging-for-fun consumerism typical of middle-class America, and lost a lot of her frugal edge over the years. My was dad even less so, relying on my mom to alert him to when it was time to tighten the purse strings. I wasn't the worst with money but was far from great, and had terrible latte-factor habits that kept me stressing over being unable to afford pricier goals in life (like world travel or a high quality instrument).

Growing up here in America, surrounded with advertising messaging, pop culture, and conventional thinking feeding each other in a vicious cycle, it's very easy to get suckered into festering credit card debt from 'treating yourself' (usually far too often) and lose sight of much more important things like emergency money, fiscal freedom, and things you dream about most in life (like adventure travel or simply less stress and more spare time).

It took me stumbling upon the early retirement blogging community to wake up and start working on thinking about money more like my grandmother would, realizing that things in life that I'm more interested than a nonstop job that pays the bills are still possible, without needing to adopt the dreaded monk-like lifestyle.

Monday, May 1, 2017

lazy habits can support frugality

Every year both laziness and improvements in my frugal mindset lead to gradual habit adjustments. Last year grocery shopping was one the few remaining places through which DH and I achieved our shopping 'high'. Being part hippie and foodie, we'd not only visit the neighborhood Giant but make the trek out to the area Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and Wegmans at least once a week, each. It was also an easy way to get out of the house with our night-owl toddler after the sun had set, especially when the weather was bad.

After keeping that up for a while it eventually started to get really tiresome. Fortunately our neighborhood Giant has expanded their hippie/foodie offerings in recent years, allowing us to downsize those very unfrugal driving habits.

Another example is that DH used to like making the drive out to a specific Farmers Market in the region because it's the only place our favorite local beef producer sells his product. But as it is a  far drive, there's only a window of a few hours on Saturday morning to do it, and lately he's been feeling as lazy as I have about driving, we've simply gone without beef for over a year now.

A while back we started hauling kiddo to the library every week to get outta the house. While a worthwhile time killer, it did start to feel terribly far after keeping that up for several weeks. Nowadays a trip to the libary is also down to just a once a month or two.

Travel farther afield has also fallen into our widening category of so-not-worth it. We attempted a few overnight trips last year, concluding all of them feeling worn out and ready to take a break from big travel for most of this year.

While we strive to keep our very active pre-schooler engaged in the world around her, we've also reached the point of insisting on relaxing and making do at home and the neighborhood within walking distance more often.

This I think is where laziness can compliment frugal living goals.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

a few steps back

While DH and I get progressively better with our spending habits each year, we do still go through phases of backsliding on occasion. The last few months of 2016 was a good example, as we had definitely let ourselves go quite a bit.

At times we'll get discouraged with our quest, thinking if we've got at minimum several more years to go, we may as well get comfortable and loosen the purse strings a bit. Factoring into this issue is that as desires for expensive things, habits, and hobbies fade out of our system we sometimes feel at a loss for ways to spend our spare time, and so spending on consumables like alcohol and fancy chocolate will have a tendency to tick up. Adding to this equation is the need to take our toddler into consideration when coming up with ideas to occupy down time (since it's tougher to pull off with frugal loner hobbies like reading with any length or regularity).

But as our kid gets older, things have started to get a little easier and more parent-friendly with routines, sleep, and play.

Like most people at least when each New Years comes around we feel a bit more motivated to get back on track. At least between progress and regress, I can say that we accomplish a net gain of increased savings and frugal values each year, progressively feeling less desire to buy new stuff or get into pricey diversions.

Friday, January 13, 2017


Ah one of the vices in my former life. I was on the path toward stereotypical spendy female with closets stuffed full of clothes, shoe, and bag collections that I don't use. I hadn't gotten so bad as Emelda Marcos or Carrie Bradshaw, though still quite wasteful so still I've been working to increasingly reign in the habit for years now. One of my worst habits was buying clothes online, which nine times out of ten I would regret because it wouldn't come out looking quite the way it seemed to in the picture or I wouldn't like the shape or way it fit. I'm also always reluctant to bother with returns because I'm very lazy and the shipping sevice shop in my area that stays open past 5:30 is four miles away. Lose-lose.

It's taken years for that expensive lesson to sink into my skull but I believe it finally has. Partly because DH and I now have an annual tradition of making a trip to the local outlet mall's IMAX theater for our one and only movie excursion a year and we take the opportunity to do some shopping afterward.

This way I can do the proper thing and actually try on the clothes before I buy them, with the added benefit of heavy discounts on higher-end clothes. I've realized that if I rely on this one annual trip for new clothes, then I will spend money on clothes that I'm far less likely to consign to the Purple Heart donation bag in short order. Thereby continually reducing my need for new clothes each following year.

In the name of minimalism I've also spent the past few years whittling my wardrobe down to my half of the master bedroom closet and half of the dresser, consisting of everything I wear regularly. (With a few seasonal things like thermals, swimsuits, and very heavy hoodies tucked away in their own location when not in use.)

The hangers up in my half of the closet are still pleasantly spaced out, too, so I'm even a bit further than just my half of the closet as it's not stuffed or even close to. But, I still feel like I have more than enough clothes to wear.

So this year so far I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself and optimistic about my habits in regards to clothes. Resolution: no new clothes until the next movie trip in next holiday season (a goal I definitely did not attempt or accomplish last year)...